Damn, Damn, Damn

I don't know where to start, so I'll just plunge in. Rogo's sarcoid didn't really heal completely after the surgery. One little spot stayed kind of scabby, and then started growing, fast. I called the vet who said it would be very unusual for it to come back that fast, but I had him come and look at it. He immediately did surgery again (this past Tues.), removing the growth, and Rogo's off work for a couple of weeks again. The growth he removed is being biopsied. The vet said it may be proud flesh, so my fingers are crossed. A knowledgeable person at the barn told me it looked and acted like a sarcoid, not proud flesh (it was 'pebbly', had sensation in it and couldn't be easily detached from him), but both she and the vet told me it's hard to tell. It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to talk to the vet about options if it isn't proud flesh and the sarcoid has returned. Guess I'll cross that bridge if I come to it...
I think I did a really good job (for me) of thinking positive and not obsessing about it up until this happened, but this sucks. It's giving me night mares. It keeps me from sleeping. Oddly, I found myself really angry the night after the surgery. I didn't even know where it came from. I was cleaning stalls for the horses at home and felt myself getting angrier and angrier and wondering what I was angry about. Then I realized I was angry about the sarcoid. But with who? Rogo? Me? The vet? God? Didn't make sense. Doesn't have to. No one likes to see their sweet horse cut up and bleeding. Okay, that's my venting. There's good stuff too.
The vet was in the afternoon. In the morning on Tues. I had my best lesson since getting to Sue's. Rogo was forward but calmer. All traces of the 'canter rebellion' were gone as quickly as they had come. We did lots of 10 M trot circles, transitioning to walk on the circles and back to trot, circling three times on each long side. We're getting better at it and it's excellent for the horse and rider to develop feel for balanced gaits and aids. When I asked for canter, instead of the semi-gallop, semi out of control gait I'd been getting for a month and a half I got a calm, focused, steerable and lovely canter. Yeah!
The time before that when I rode he had the first bucking fit he's ever had in his life with a rider aboard. As soon as my feet were in the stirrups he started bucking and crow hopping all over the top end of the arena. I'm amazed I stayed on. Everyone including me thought something was wrong, i.e. a twisted girth or a strap tickling some where. People were yelling "get off him, get off him". Well, if I could stop and get off I wouldn't have a problem would I? :) I eventually got him to a stand still and my friend Alison who was standing there courageously held him while I got off to see what was wrong. I couldn't see anything so I lunged him. There was nothing wrong. Sue showed up just then and confirmed he was fine, just feeling 'high as a kite' from being inside for a day (weather had kept them in). He's been locked in due to weather lots of times, but he's never done more than a half hearted little buck on a rare occasion to object to something new or tell me he was loosing his balance. Bucking wasn't in his vocabulary. They decided to cut his feed and my ride the next day, the one I describe above, was fabulous. I don't think cutting his feed would make a difference that fast. I think it was just that he's feeling much more muscled up now and needs to get out or have exercise. I'll have to remember to lunge if he's been inside due to weather. Does anyone know if cutting the feed could affect him that quickly?
Speaking of feed and energy levels, I've discussed Rogo's nutrition and energy level with the vet on numerous occasions and even had him on a supplement the vet brought in to try to increase his energy. Nothing helped. I think it's just a case of him developing more muscle and energy. I should say though that I've suspected in the past that alfalfa gave him a bit of an energy boost, and Sue mentioned that alfalfa, combined with his new fitness, can give him more energy.
Anyway, I LOVE his new forwardness, so I'll just have to monitor the feed and also lunge as needed.
Yesterday I had my lesson on a lesson horse, Spirit. It's good to ride different horses and Spirit is a nice horse to ride. Forward and responsive. I can do sitting trot better with Spirit than Rogo, so it was good to get the feel for that, and also we did shoulder in, so I was able to get a good feel for that too. Rogo is just starting a bit of shoulder in so maybe we'll work at it at the walk a little when he starts back to work.